What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
fuck your aforementioned shoe
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
