def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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