Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
she pinky promised me she was 18
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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