She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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