"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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