If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
It's just like the Real World with babies
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
