I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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