I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
