Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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