you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
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We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
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That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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