I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
