i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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