I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
