I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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