i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
