Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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