Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
