I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
