Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
