Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
