you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
