I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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