I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
