you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
