so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
