She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
