Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Randomize