I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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