I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
