Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
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What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
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When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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