look no pants
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
