Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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