Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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