My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
my phone needs a breathalizer
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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