she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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