Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Randomize
