Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
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She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
sex in a hospital.. check
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize