on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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