oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
