why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
