Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
How external is "for external use only"?
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
