he puts the penis in happiness.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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