I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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