You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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