I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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