singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
