on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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