Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
You smell like stripper and shame
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
