also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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