Texts From Last Night

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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.

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  (252): I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real. http://tfl.nu/u784
  Replies (20) Good night (841) Bad night (3261)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.

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  (704): "Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization. http://tfl.nu/xva8
  Replies (24) Good night (4191) Bad night (966)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.

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  (978): you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant. http://tfl.nu/88h4
  Replies (18) Good night (4377) Bad night (1098)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.

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  (802): I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase. http://tfl.nu/kajo
  Replies (22) Good night (6528) Bad night (861)
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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.

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  (320): A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears. http://tfl.nu/pw7m
  Replies (41) Good night (2497) Bad night (5318)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.

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  (417): I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me. http://tfl.nu/vc9f
  Replies (16) Good night (6154) Bad night (1288)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  And to think..we used to do everything sober...

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  (724): And to think..we used to do everything sober... http://tfl.nu/tbey
  Replies (7) Good night (4922) Bad night (1042)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.

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  (+44): He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning. http://tfl.nu/9kly
  Replies (5) Good night (4069) Bad night (774)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.

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  (904): I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff. http://tfl.nu/e8i1
  Replies (13) Good night (2650) Bad night (1073)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation

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  (503): I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation http://tfl.nu/9svf
  Replies (6) Good night (1066) Bad night (676)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.

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  (203): Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic. http://tfl.nu/uabe
  Replies (2) Good night (1203) Bad night (704)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.

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  (678): Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony. http://tfl.nu/3z52
  Replies (3) Good night (835) Bad night (574)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?

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  (410): Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of? http://tfl.nu/mce5
  Replies (0) Good night (248) Bad night (639)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.

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  (718): Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday. http://tfl.nu/4crp
  Replies (2) Good night (512) Bad night (167)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.

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  (509): And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk. http://tfl.nu/dvsc
  Replies (1) Good night (281) Bad night (119)

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