Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.

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(206): It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts. http://tfl.nu/etp3

Replies (1) Good night (829) Bad night (1028)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.

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(505): Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before. http://tfl.nu/42ka

Replies (93) Good night (5718) Bad night (912)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore

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(702): I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore http://tfl.nu/l7gt

Replies (37) Good night (5645) Bad night (2176)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.

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(919): i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me. http://tfl.nu/ilti

Replies (42) Good night (10240) Bad night (989)
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(03): View more from

you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!

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(03): you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!! http://tfl.nu/e67e

Replies (18) Good night (7088) Bad night (1107)
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(813): View more from Florida

Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??

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(813): Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick?? http://tfl.nu/vxvq

Replies (12) Good night (3298) Bad night (1528)
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(416): View more from Toronto

thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks

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(416): thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks http://tfl.nu/k1ka

Replies (4) Good night (1158) Bad night (2078)
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(716): View more from New York

i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls

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(716): i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls http://tfl.nu/crru

Replies (8) Good night (2309) Bad night (1215)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.

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(+44): I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy. http://tfl.nu/np1e

Replies (3) Good night (3745) Bad night (748)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....

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(775): I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets.... http://tfl.nu/2q79

Replies (12) Good night (980) Bad night (455)
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(425): View more from Washington

Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.

(423): View more from Tennessee

I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY

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(425): Sexual Frustration City, population: Me. (423): I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY http://tfl.nu/7zd6

Replies (3) Good night (520) Bad night (591)
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(330): View more from Ohio

I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.

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(330): I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend. http://tfl.nu/a48i

Replies (1) Good night (689) Bad night (317)
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(713): View more from Texas

Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.

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(713): Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar. http://tfl.nu/aeu2

Replies (6) Good night (554) Bad night (359)
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(310): View more from California

I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected

(1-310): View more from California

Only you would come out as bi like that

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(310): I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected (1-310): Only you would come out as bi like that http://tfl.nu/6y64

Replies (2) Good night (807) Bad night (288)
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(585): View more from New York

They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.

(716): View more from New York

So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?

(585): View more from New York

Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.

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(585): They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years. (716): So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy? (585): Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win. http://tfl.nu/ig9q

Replies (6) Good night (634) Bad night (358)

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