Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(870): View more from Arkansas

At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!

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(870): At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins! http://tfl.nu/8m62

Replies (19) Good night (5898) Bad night (727)
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(415): View more from California

There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.

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(415): There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms. http://tfl.nu/bpq6

Replies (35) Good night (7737) Bad night (1483)
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(256): View more from Alabama

It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.

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(256): It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops. http://tfl.nu/42cm

Replies (12) Good night (5979) Bad night (948)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer

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(732): just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer http://tfl.nu/hop7

Replies (25) Good night (6682) Bad night (1399)
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(501): View more from Arkansas

Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick

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(501): Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick http://tfl.nu/wixt

Replies (27) Good night (4635) Bad night (1163)
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(778): View more from British Columbia

I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.

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(778): I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk. http://tfl.nu/sd2y

Replies (10) Good night (3533) Bad night (957)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard

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(770): I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard http://tfl.nu/zjac

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(302): View more from Delaware

you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..

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(302): you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor.. http://tfl.nu/0kdc

Replies (8) Good night (2617) Bad night (1083)
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(253): View more from Washington

We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight

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(253): We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight http://tfl.nu/nnba

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture

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(412): I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture http://tfl.nu/mhk1

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(206): View more from Washington

Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.

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(206): Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it. http://tfl.nu/gln0

Replies (3) Good night (1526) Bad night (591)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.

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(859): Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night. http://tfl.nu/d9pf

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(716): View more from New York

Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators

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(716): Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators http://tfl.nu/mdm6

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(440): View more from Ohio

dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.

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(440): dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls. http://tfl.nu/46gi

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(407): View more from Florida

We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.

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(407): We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore. http://tfl.nu/jkjf

Replies (2) Good night (732) Bad night (608)

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