Texts From Last Night

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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night

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  (734): I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night http://tfl.nu/yxun
  Replies (5) Good night (1385) Bad night (629)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her

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  (603): not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her http://tfl.nu/t8zc
  Replies (90) Good night (2554) Bad night (23199)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.

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  (860): Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life. http://tfl.nu/zt1o
  Replies (21) Good night (2317) Bad night (4798)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.

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  (701): She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex. http://tfl.nu/crgk
  Replies (63) Good night (21791) Bad night (1285)
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  (516): View more from New York

  i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone

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  (516): i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone http://tfl.nu/1arh
  Replies (5) Good night (946) Bad night (3092)
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  (818): View more from California

  ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.

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  (818): ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate. http://tfl.nu/xbio
  Replies (17) Good night (1227) Bad night (3963)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.

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  (573): You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad. http://tfl.nu/q4da
  Replies (6) Good night (2376) Bad night (1350)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar

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  (330): I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar http://tfl.nu/rbaw
  Replies (9) Good night (2660) Bad night (813)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious

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  (813): I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious http://tfl.nu/g6os
  Replies (3) Good night (1607) Bad night (702)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera

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  (410): I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera http://tfl.nu/vxvj
  Replies (4) Good night (1045) Bad night (474)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick

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  (423): What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick http://tfl.nu/pr7p
  Replies (6) Good night (254) Bad night (361)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.

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  (254): He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong. http://tfl.nu/xvj4
  Replies (2) Good night (338) Bad night (770)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  He told me how it ended, then I blew him.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??

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  (281): He told me how it ended, then I blew him. (303): So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him?? http://tfl.nu/u71s
  Replies (1) Good night (579) Bad night (366)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.

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  (+44): Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room. http://tfl.nu/dcq0
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (178)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself

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  (416): well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself http://tfl.nu/ylfg
  Replies (4) Good night (551) Bad night (191)

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