dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
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Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
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just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.