Texts From Last Night

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  (989): View more from Michigan

  I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt

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  (989): I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt http://tfl.nu/o754
  Replies (7) Good night (2723) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  it's too hot outside to masturbate.

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  (310): it's too hot outside to masturbate. http://tfl.nu/dql5
  Replies (19) Good night (597) Bad night (1543)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police

  (616): View more from Michigan

  What?!?

  (810): View more from Michigan

  What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police

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  (810): Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police (616): What?!? (810): What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police http://tfl.nu/unre
  Replies (20) Good night (4545) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  You smell like a Billy Joel song

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  (315): You smell like a Billy Joel song http://tfl.nu/8lk7
  Replies (7) Good night (812) Bad night (1999)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands

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  (773): smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands http://tfl.nu/8z3t
  Replies (98) Good night (4595) Bad night (729)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?

  (573): View more from Missouri

  pat the guy you slept with

  (314): View more from Missouri

  still need a last name

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  (314): hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this? (573): pat the guy you slept with (314): still need a last name http://tfl.nu/e97s
  Replies (53) Good night (10605) Bad night (1715)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.

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  (508): I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long. http://tfl.nu/opva
  Replies (15) Good night (1417) Bad night (2848)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.

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  (412): I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together. http://tfl.nu/59bc
  Replies (14) Good night (844) Bad night (4019)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.

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  (706): In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure. http://tfl.nu/bjg9
  Replies (5) Good night (2292) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?

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  (678): Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting? http://tfl.nu/j29m
  Replies (11) Good night (2274) Bad night (553)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.

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  (801): I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped. http://tfl.nu/dgi2
  Replies (10) Good night (1582) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.

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  (413): I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD. http://tfl.nu/g1bn
  Replies (6) Good night (1212) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.

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  (832): Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start. http://tfl.nu/gyl1
  Replies (8) Good night (552) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.

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  (724): If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant. http://tfl.nu/s61d
  Replies (1) Good night (1122) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (61): View more from Australia

  Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.

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  (61): Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive. http://tfl.nu/0qk3
  Replies (5) Good night (412) Bad night (190)

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