Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked