Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You know, be my cock's hype man.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.