Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Acid is not a monday night drug
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
