I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize