Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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