i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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