If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
