i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
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