She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
