I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
