What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
