Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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