Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
