Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize