Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
