clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
