my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
